How not to complete your tax return

If you’re self-employed you may be aware that today is D-Day for your tax return. If you’re like me then you’ve probably been putting it off for months, and getting more and more anxious as 31st January creeps nearer.

This is the first tax return I’ve ever done (I started my own business in 2016 – nothing to do with blogging, although that would have been extremely easy to complete as I’ve earned sweet FA from it). I finally submitted it last night and have no idea if I’ve done it correctly. Time will tell I suppose.

Next year I have vowed to do it much earlier and to keep all my paperwork organised so as I’m not trying to staple together a year’s worth of receipts in one day. Next year I will have my shit together (or pay someone else to do it). Next year most definitely will not go like this:

  • Procrastinate for at least 12 months
  • Write a ‘to-do’ list every week of said year with “complete tax return” at the top in big black pen and never cross it off
  • Think about hiring an accountant
  • Realise you don’t earn nearly enough to warrant an accountant
  • Do a few HMRC online courses to make yourself feel better about yourself
  • Keep all emails from HMRC in a nice little folder on your laptop so as it looks like you’ve got it all under control
  • Notice the feeling of dread getting more intense as the deadline gets closer
  • Just get Christmas out of the way first. You will definitely do it after Christmas
  • Feel even worse after the festive period…not only are you fat but you still have to do your tax return in the most depressing month of the year
  • Begrudgingly set a day aside (when your kid is at nursery, otherwise you have most definitely lost your mind)
  • Go on Twitter to tell everyone you’re doing your tax return
  • Do a snazzy Boomerang with a sad face on Insta Stories with #taxreturn y tho?
  • Briefly have a look at Facebook then decide you’d actually rather do your tax return
  • Go on Spotify to create a tax return playlist
  • Actually start doing it
  • Work for 10 minutes then have a snack because you deserve it
  • Get stuck on Q2 because you remember how shit you are at maths
  • Curse your 16 year old self for chasing boys/getting pissed rather than revising for your GCSE’s
  • Cry
  • Pour a large drink
  • Write a blog post about it
  • Put it on your ‘to-do’ list for tomorrow



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