I knew it was coming. Over the last few months Molly has been having the odd day here & there where she wouldn’t nap. On the days that she would eventually fall asleep, the times were getting later and later, and it was taking me longer and longer to get her to nod off.
This basically involved me wrestling her into her car seat (she constantly wants to sit in the driver’s seat, and doesn’t understand why she can’t), drowning out the ensuing tantrum by putting the radio on, and driving round and round until she passed out.
She absolutely will not fall asleep in the day anywhere other than the car (trust me, I’ve tried). I put her in her bedroom once with the baby gate closed and she screamed that much for so long that I was worried the neighbours were going to call Social Services.
Now I didn’t mind doing this in the days where she would fall asleep within 10 minutes, but it’s now got to the point where I actually drove round for nearly an hour and a half the other day, desperate for a wee, and ended up using all the diesel. She was laughing at me from her car seat, singing and happily eating her bogies, so far from tired it looked like she had had 8 coffees…at which point I gave up.
The last 4 days have been like that. I’m desperately trying to cling onto the hope that this is just a phase, another bloody sleep regression (the horror), as she is only 2 and a half, and all the ‘experts’ say that she should be napping right up until she starts school. But after a 2 hour swimming session on Saturday followed by a run around in the park afterwards, and she still didn’t sleep on the way home, I knew it was the end. I started writing this eulogy in my head whilst crying silent tears.
I am a stay at home mum with absolutely no help from family (it’s not their fault, I live miles away from them), my partner works 6 days a week, and we can’t afford to put her into nursery.
So Molly and I are pretty much together every single day, which is amazing, but it is also relentless. Those 1 – 2 hours off in the afternoon were just absolute bliss. I could actually sit down, most of the time in complete silence, go on my phone, drink tea without worrying if I was going to scald her, maybe watch something on TV other than f***ing Topsy and Tim, or occasionally have a little nap myself…heaven!
What the hell do I do now? How do I fill another 2 hours of our day? 2 hours in toddler world is like a week! I’m already running out of ideas that don’t cost money and are stimulating/interesting.
I’ve started to put movies on now in the afternoon, getting her little blanket and some milk and cuddling her on the sofa, hoping she might just nod off, but she has the attention span of a goldfish.
What’s worse now is that the weather is changing so we’re not going to be able to spend every day outside. The thought of trying to keep her occupied for an entire day at home just fills me with dread. And the mess…oh the mess!
But alas, there’s not much I can do. I can either keep driving round with her for an hour each day, wasting fuel and getting earache from her tantrumming, or I can just accept my fate. It was bound to happen eventually, and at least now I don’t have to plan my day around her nap time. I’m just going to have to up my arts & crafts game.
As Ross says in an episode of Friends…“I’ve been given the gift of time “! Now what am I going to do with it? Pinterest here I come….!